"Okay, Jesus, if you are the son of God, wave your hands in the air... Ha ha. Didn't think so."
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What a lovely Easter sentiment.
Now, a few nights ago, I was lying there insomniacally, minding my own business, when I heard a strange rhythmic sound coming from the other side of the bed. I turned and looked over, to find Adam, face down, palms flat on either side of his head, slamming his face repeatedly into his pillow. For a long time. It was pretty freaky.
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| KAREN: | You did something really weird. |
| ADAM: | What? |
| KAREN: | I heard this rhythmic... thing, and I looked up, and you were going (lying face-down, lifts head and slams face back down into pillow, repeatedly) |
| ADAM: | Oh my god, I was head-banging again! |
| KAREN: | And at one point, you briefly turned to the side (turns head, and continues demonstration) |
| ADAM: | I do it on the side! |
| KAREN: | But then you said, nope (face-down again, bangs a few more times). You did it for, maybe, a minute straight, a long time. |
| ADAM: | I used to do it for twenty minutes, half an hour, awake, when I was a kid. |
| KAREN: | Is that how you do it? Down into the pillow? It wasn't that you banged your head on the crib or something? |
| ADAM: | No! No, that would've hurt. I used to do this, hang on. |
| KAREN: | Wait, you remember this? |
| ADAM: | Oh God, yeah. |
| KAREN: | How old were you? |
| ADAM: | This was going from when I was very very young, 'til about eight or nine. I used to put myself to sleep this way. I used to put music on, and head-bang to music. |
| KAREN: | Okay, do it. |
| ADAM: | Okay, I did it more on my chin— |
| KAREN: | Okay, I'll sing, ready? (singing horribly, as Adam head-bangs along) I set fire to the raiiiiiiiin, watch it (giggles)... |
| ADAM: | And sometimes I do this (head bangs more slowly)— |
| KAREN: | Yes! That tempo is exactly what you were doing. |
| ADAM: | It's really nice. |
| KAREN: | Hold on, let me try it. So, on your chin— |
| ADAM: | —on your chin and mouth. |
| KAREN: | (tries a few bangs) .... I don't find anything nice about that. |
| ADAM: | (joins in, and we bang together) I used to do this, Mum and Dad would be in the room, and I used to talk to them like this (bangs to the side). And I'd be talking, but it's not so nice on the side, then I did it face down. And I did it so much, I used to get a callus. I used to split my chin, and there was blood all over my pillow, a scab on my chin— |
| KAREN: | And what did they think about, you'd be talking to them doing that? |
| ADAM: | Well, they took me to the the doctors, and they said, actually, a lot of boys do it. Um, normally they grow out of it before I did— |
| KAREN: | What, before they're 39? |
| ADAM: | Yeah. And very few of them did it to music. But it was relaxing. It was a de-stressor. |
| KAREN: | It freaked that shit out of me. It was really really really strange. |
| ADAM: | Um, hmmm. Well, something's bothering me, or— |
| KAREN: | But you've never done it before. Certainly never that I've known of— |
| ADAM: | I wonder if it was the rosé that's— |
| KAREN: | What? |
| ADAM: | —having alcohol— |
| KAREN: | No, you've had alcohol other times. |
| ADAM: | I don't know, maybe it was the tiramisu, took me back to childhood... Something's triggered me. |
| KAREN: | Maybe it's just all this stuff with [name censored]. Or maybe it was just fun. |
| ADAM: | Yay! Bang my head! |
When I was a teen I had a friend who did this in her sleep on occasion, it really freaked me out the first couple of times. I can't remember if I ever asked her about it when she was awake.
ReplyDeleteI use to suck my thumb, some kids bang their heads I guess.
ReplyDeleteChildren find "Self Comfort" mechanisms when they are very little, sucking a thumb, or rocking, and others. Mine was rubbing my feet together in a sort of figure 8 motion, which I find myself still doing in times of duress. Somehow I don't think I would find head banging especially comforting, but to each his or her own.
ReplyDeleteI rub my feet together too! Or I kick them. Not my whole leg, just little foot kicks, like a flipper.
DeleteIts not so odd I used to do this when i was a kid too
ReplyDeleteI dated a man (he was 21 when we started dating) who did this his whole life. From what I understood, he did this to put himself to sleep when he felt sick (he has cystic fibrosis so he was sick a lot AND he was an alcoholic). It freaked me out too, I had never seen anything like it until I dated him and I grew up with 2 older brothers.
ReplyDeleteI would bang my head on my pillow too! Eventually, I stopped but I still remember doing it. I don't even know why I did it some much. Maybe I was trying to knock myself unconscious, LOL
ReplyDeletewho is that censored person?
ReplyDeleteWow, what happened to good ole masterbation?
ReplyDeleteMy son, who is 30 now, started doing this at 9 months to a rhythm he 'sang'. The doc said that many sensitive children do it to self-soothe. He turned out to be a fine artist, and still does it on occasion.
ReplyDeletei used to do it too... right up to adulthood. i stopped when my husband asked me to. i should ask him if i still do it in my sleep.
ReplyDelete